Becoming a Parent - A Decision to Take, a Price to Pay!
After the first child is born you ask him if he still wants six children. This time, he tells you that four or five would be just perfect. But after the second child arrives, maybe taking you by surprise, you’ll hear your husband “reviewing” his “great expectations” and cutting the number down to three children. Even if you, in the meantime, think to have even four kids, he will shock you after a while by saying that he wants no more than two children. You just smile back to him – thinking: “Works for me!” – and say in a loud voice “Perhaps someday you would change your mind!”. FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE FAMILY PLANNING 1.
Income Many families plan to have children after they will have at least a regular income that should cover the costs for raising a child. For some people, to have a child is even a luxury, because of the financial challenges involved as daily care, education, health, etc. Sometimes we spend a lot of money on things that we do not really need, using them only once or twice and never ever after that. Even if you plan to have more then one child, the same thing happens. And all that is because each of us as parents wishes our children to have what is the best for them.
2. Professional Development Nowadays women are less focused on a family life, but rather on a professional career. The desire for a professional fulfillment is one of the main factors in deciding to have a baby only later in life. Some couples are to busy, each of them has two jobs and therefore no time to think at children. We are more than ever interested how to have success and get easy and fast right to the top; in other words, we are selfish, being preoccupied only by our own welfare. That is why for so many of us it’s difficult to realize the essential impact that children could have on our lives by building our character and contributing to our own development as human beings. 3. Family Context In many cases, those people born in large families wish to have only few children. On the other side, a child raised in a small family (having only one sibling or even none) later on in life would wish to have many kids. It cannot be stated as a rule, but in a large family, the eldest child either never gets married or will prefer to have only one or two children.
It easy to understand why: usually, the elder children in a family are responsible for taking care of their younger brothers. Sometimes the parents insist in coming with their own suggestions in the decisions that a couple is faced regarding when and how many children to have; in some cases, the parents are quite persuasive in imposing their views. This is especially true in those situations where the new married couple lives with the parents due to the fact that there is no other option available. It is a life fact that for a family to have a stable and healthy relational life, the partners need to take such decisions by their own. Both husband’s and wife’s parents should keep the distance, letting the couple to decide on these matters. A young couple could ask for advice from a gynecologist, but eventually the decision has to be taken by the couple itself. A physician may suggest the methods to be used and tell how many children they can have considering certain medical aspects, but he cannot take the decision that the couple itself has to take. The responsibility on the number and the method(s) used in planning belongs to the couple alone. DIFFERENT METHODS IN PLANNING Who decides which would be the appropriate method(s)? Which is the adequate birth control? Which method or treatment would not harm the human life in its earliest days? 1. Natural Contraceptive Methods Ogino Method (using the calendar) Simpto-Termal Method Vaginal Washing Method Coitus interruptus 2.
Mechanical Contraceptive Methods Diaphragm Intra-Uterine Device (IUD) Condoms 3. Chemical Contraceptive Methods Spremicids Contraception Pills Emergency Contraception (The “Morning After” Pill) Term Injection Manual Vacuum Aspiration 4. Surgical Contraceptive Methods Vasectomy Tubes binding Abortion THREE PARTICULAR METHODS The goal of this article is not to describe each method. You can find information about different methods just searching on the internet or reading books that treat this topic. We would rather describe only three methods considered questionable from a Christian perspective and with tragic consequences for the human life and family relations. There are several contraceptive methods promoted by gynecologists, but a Christian or at least an ethical approach views them as abortive methods, and therefore they are to be opposed to. However, even the doctors share different perspectives upon which method is to be considered abortive and which one is not. We will now consider three of these methods: the intra-uterine device, the morning after pill and the abortion. 1. Intra-Uterine Device IUD is introduced in uterus by a gynecologist.
This device does not allow the fetus to be implanted in the uterine tissue. That is why in most of the cases, the fetus dies after the first or the second week of pregnancy. In some circumstances, the Intra-Uterine Device could cause different negative reactions in a woman’s body: infections located in the uterine tube or in the abdomen, blood infection (septicemia), anemia, etc. In a more vivid language, we could describe the IUD as “a child-eating and disease bringer serpent that some women carry beneath their hearts”. In USA, some companies that previously produced the IUD ended up in bankruptcy due the damages they had to pay to women who used the device and suffered severe health consequences. Presently, only several companies still manufacture this product and export it to other countries. Those from the “pro-choice” side consider that a pregnancy does not begin when the ovum has been fertilized. According to their view, a pregnancy generally begins after twelve days from conception, when the ovum gets implanted. Therefore, IUD does not determine an abortion, but it rather prevents the pregnancy development.
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